Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami

I was excited to receive a copy of Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami, as I loved Kafka on the Shore and Norwegian Wood. This book, though not quite on the same level, did not disappoint.

Tsukuru Tazaki, whose name means "to make things," is one of a closely-knit group of five friends in high school. His four friends, two boys and two girls, all have names whose meanings incorporate a color - red, blue, black, and white. Tsukuru feels "different" from his colorful friends, not only because his name has no color in it, but also because he is a studious, quiet kind of guy, and they each have a notable trait. Ao is a rugby jock, Aka is at the top of his class, Shiro is tall and beautiful like a model and is a skilled pianist, an Kuro is funny and outgoing. Each friend is very different, but as a group of friends they flourish and do everything together. Tsukuru rounds out the group as the steady, solid one. "Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki."

After high school, Tsukuru is the only one in the group who leaves Nagoya, to attend college in Tokyo and study to be an engineer. He has always dreamed of building railroad stations. After two years in college, he returns home and tries to get in touch with his friends, who do not answer his calls. Finally, one of them calls and tells him not to call any of them any more. When Tsukuru asks why, the response is only "You should know why." He doesn't have a clue what is wrong, but does not press the issue.

This moment shapes Tsukuru's life from this point on, and is always hanging over him. He goes into a deep depression and loses a lot of weight, even considers suicide. Eventually he comes back to a normal life and has the job he always wanted, but there is still the sadness and confusion from losing his friends. He has girlfriends occasionally, but the relationships are superficial.

Tsukuru develops one male friendship in Tokyo with Haita, whom he meets at the swimming pool while doing his laps. Haita spends a lot of time at Tsukuru's apartment, even cooking meals and sleeping over. One wonders about Haita's motives and if he is in love with Tsukuru. Then suddenly, after Tsukuru has a very strange dream (was it a dream?) involving Haita, he also disappears from Tsukuru's life.

Tsukuru does not display or even feel emotions much - but his dreams are wrought with them. He has frequent erotic dreams involving Shiro and Kuro, even though their relationship never goes beyond friendship. In a dream he feels jealousy for the first time. Murakami describes Tsukuru's jealousy as "the most hopeless prison in the world...not a place he was forced into by someone else, but a jail in which the inmate entered voluntarily, locked the door, and threw away the key." Indeed.

At age 36, Tsukuru's girlfriend Sara tells him he must go back to his friends and resolve whatever happened 16 years ago, or he will never be able to move forward. This sets him on a journey to contact his four friends, which he does, traveling halfway around the world for one of them. What he learns makes one think about how others can affect your life so deeply, even from a misunderstanding.

There are a few loose ends I would like to have seen tied up, especially the side story about the sixth fingers. What is that all about? However, Murakami is a master at making his characters real and conveying their emotions. He writes simply, yet so very beautifully. I will be looking forward to reading more Murakami books.

I received an Advance Reader Copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review - thank you!